Indeed with a side order of awesome
by Druna Malgood
Summary: Three crazy muggle girls have found Hogwarts. Oh dear. Now their supplied with wands, able to do magic and are terroising our favourite characters. Who the heck thought this was a good idea? Not my fault! I'm just writing about it.
1. Disclaimers

**Claimers! Disclaimers! And all the crap in between!**

_Me?! Yes you! Read this! Why? Who knows, I think it's a part of the story. Really?! No! For Dumbys sake, don't believe everything I say! We're doomed if you do that._

**Hey anyone who is reading this!**

_**Warning!**_

**Basically, this story is written to amuse myself with my scarily obsessive love of the Harry Potter world! (And Draco Malfoy but let us not mention that quite yet.) It's nothing too Sirius (Yes I did mean that :P), just for a bit of fun. Its dedicated to all my friends, though there's not many of them XD they will probably star in this story randomly! Because they are really awesome! And I love them to bits! And they mean the world to me. Please dear Smeg stop me from getting all gushy! XD Anyway! On with the disclaimers…**

_I own this layout *Shifty eyes* Okay…I didn't say you didn't. What? Oh, crap not this again._

_**Disclaimers!**_

**Well there are many things I do not own. Yes that is very sad ): **

**I do not own the Harry Potter World ): JK Rowling does apparently. Which I don't get! How come she owns it? It's real so Dumby owns it, right? **

**I do not own the Harry Potter characters (Despite having Draco in my closet and Dumby (He is not dead!), Dobby (He is also not dead!) and Luna in my shower with their stall.), they own themselves. Or maybe JK Rowling does…*Shifty eyes* **

**I do not own Narnia, C.S. Lewis does…I think. **

**Not in order but technically it is… I do not own Rowan Evoe Madden, she owns herself because she is FREAKING AWESOME! I may not own her but but I shall one day! And I shall eat her brains! Mwhahaha-cough-hahaha! **

**I do not own Olivia -insert middle name here- Spring. She owns herself, I believe. Not sure, maybe Skulduggery does? Dude! These disclaimers are confusing! **

**And while we're on the subject I do not own Skulduggery Pleasant and the Characters. Derek Landy does! That awesome dude! Who lives with Badgers! **

**I do not own Katie Sarah Watt, because this beyond pure awesome girl owns herself! **

**I do not own **_**the**_** awesome Rebecca Thompson, though I do own her hair and her little Sister who I have scarred for life! *Evil grin* This epic girl owns herself!**

**I do not own Cecilia, Green Day does. I don't own them either ):**

**I do not own Itchy Balls-I mean Aaron Montgomery. And quite rightly too! **

**I do not own any of the bands that I may "accidentally" mention (Though I do have Hayley Nichole Williams, Joshua Neil Farro, Zachary Wayne Farro, Jeremy Clayton Davis and Taylor Benjamin York (Also known as Paramore) in a cage in my wardrobe. I shall be letting them out in December though, so don't worry. That's when I'll be seeing them live in Dublin! YAY ROWAN AND ME!) **

**I do not own any of the Lyrics that shall be randomly sung either skipping down the corridors of Hogwarts or randomly sung at Teachers. **

**I do not own the parents or the siblings of any of "my" characters. They own themselves.**

**Uh…I **_**think**_** that's all. Not entirely sure but if there's anything I've forgotten it will (unfortunately) be added onto the chapter. So yeah! That's all. Onto the claimers. But don't worry! It's much shorter!**

_**You piece of smudge! Oi, Mark! What? You're my new best friend! Huh?! I've always wanted a gay best friend! :D We made strangers laugh!**_

_**Claimers!**_

**Hmm…what do I own? Well I own myself! Yay! At least I think I do…Hmm…Yes, Yes I do. I also own the events! Basically what happens in the story! I also own Druna and I own my children, Rowans children, Livvys children, Katie's children, Rebecca's children and Cecilia's children. Oh and our husbands. **_**Oh dear! **_**I've give it away haven't I! Oh shiz! *Facepalm***

**I also own Snapes Dance Class! **_**"Twirl him, Draco! Twirl him!"**_

_**THAT TIS THE END! **_

_**What its not? Awww! I have to actually write the story?! Well that sucks! Fine,fine, commence into the scary world! Directions? Oh well, go down, click the purple rectangle then the arrow and a list comes up. Click "Chapter one-First year." Got it? Good! Oh and for future reference, you may like to click the review button! Yes, yes that's it! It's pulling you over! Don't resist the temptation or the Dementor fingers! *Evil grin* **_


	2. Chapter 1 First Year

**First Year-The Sorting**

_Friday 26th__ September 15:36 Belfast, Northern Ireland._

The three pairs of footsteps as their feet hit the floor, echoed off the school walls just as their voices did. The three girls sung together.

"_So tell your boyfriend, that if he says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him! She likes to touch me, ooh! She'll never-"_

"Wait!" The blond haired girl stopped suddenly and the other two did as well, skidding to a halt. The scarily short, brown haired one actually tumbled to the ground. However, this was not unusual.

After the general peals of laughter subsided, the black haired pre-teen piped up. "And you stopped us why, Livvy?"

"Well," the one called Olivia Spring began, "I spotted a door back there which I'd never seen before. We skipped right past it of course. I was actually wondering if Skulduggery's head was in there. It seems like the appropriate place."

The brown haired girl nodded in agreement, needing not add to the accusation. The black haired one-Otherwise known as Meghan Colvin-rolled her eyes.

"Well what are we doing standing here?!" she asked eyebrows raised. She turned to "sprint" back the way they came, the brunette-Rowan Madden- and Olivia soon catching up.

They swiftly stopped in front the strange door. It was unlike any of the many others in the building. It was made of a rich dark brown wood, curved at the top with a peculiar, well-designed handle that had many intricate designs on it.

However, I shouldn't really be describing how the door looks, I should be describing what inside it, and so on we go!

All three reached for the door at once but Rowan managed to battle the two eager hands away. She grasped it and closed her eyes at once. "I reveal the power inside you!" She said in a creepy voice as she slung open the pretty door.

Three gasps issued at once and why I hear you ask? Well, not because of what extraordinary things the room occupied but because the three girls were letting out their gasps of disappointment.

It was a normal room, everything painted white, occupying nothing but three wooden trunks up against the other wall beside what seemed like a door. Nothing special this time. There were also a few shelves on the walls but that's not too important.

"Hey! These have our names on them!" Meghan suddenly exclaimed, rushing forward and over to where the trunks stood. She leant down, careful not to tread on her long, long school skirt and yanked open the regular sized wooden box that had her name carved into it.

"Ahhh, a Tardis!" Rowan said, rubbing her hands together as she glanced over Meghan's shoulder and into the trunk, which was larger in the inside than the outside. Livvy joined and peered into the box.

There was a small pile of clothes, a wooden stick on top, a cage covered with an old piece of cloth and a couple of brown paper packages. Light twittering was heard and Meghan immediately pulled off the cloth that covered the brass cage.

Three gasps were issued once again and Livvy reached forward to unclasp the lock. Meghan reached forward and took out the little ball of black fluff-An owl that was twittering and wriggling crazily.

"I love her all ready!" Meghan called, happily.

"Whatcha gonna call her?" Rowan asked, falling to her knees beside her own trunk.

"Draco."

"It's a girl, you prick!" Livvy laughed.

"Fine! Druna it is then."

"Pffft…I would've called it Severus..."

Livvy giggled and started opening her trunk and curiously but cautiously peering in.

"Ack! It's an Albatross in a cage!" Livvy screamed, all trace of laughter gone from her face as she took in the huge bird, sitting casually on its perch, almost staring back at her defiantly.

"Jeez! It's huge." Rowan murmured, peering at it. "I wonder what awesome animal I have!"

She hastily opened the trunk, a huge grin on her pale face but it disappeared too.

"Why the hell is there a dancing crab in Tupperware in here?!" she said, astonished.

"I thought you said crap! Hahahaha! Oops, not the best time…" Meghan trailed off and went to rummage in her trunk, her owl zooming around the small room.

"Oh my fudging god! Real Hogwarts robes and uniform! For freaking real!" She screamed as she picked up the clothes.

She and Rowan were huge, obsessive Harry Potter fans, having read the books a zillion times and developing huge, life threatening, obsessive crushes on characters. Rowan had an extremely scary obsession with Snape and Meghan was completely and utterly in love with Draco.

However, Livvy was not a fan of Harry Potter, instead opting for an obsession with a Skeleton Detective called Skulduggery Pleasant. Yes, you heard that right.

"I can't believe this! And oh my blind Io! Here's a genuine wand!" Rowan called out, picking up the stick, which was in fact a genuine wand, it was _Rowan _wood, twelve inches and had a phoenix feather core

"I know! Mines a willow, ten and a quarter inches with a heart string core I think." Meghan said excitedly, standing up and twirling it around. It emitted a couple of red sparks.

"Awesome!" Two girls chorused at once and turned to Livvy who was still staring at the Albatross.

"Hey, Livvy! Aren't you excited?!" Rowan asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Not really but hey, whatever. If I can't learn magic from Skull-man, I guess I'll have to

Learn it at some invisible school." She said, considering it. "Meh, it sounds awesome! I'm calling my albatross Herbert by the way!"

She got up and started dancing, the other two soon joining in.

_____

"I wonder what's behind that door." Rowan mused as she picked up the Tupperware, containing the dancing crab, which she had now named "Albert". They had stopped dancing a few minutes previous and had changed into the Hogwarts school robes and uniform.

Livvy yanked on her pointed hat and nodded, kicking the trunks out of the way. She yanked the doorknob and the door pulled open, making a slightly creaky noise. She peered through the small crack.

"Fuck yeah!" she said happily, pushing the door fully open and skipping through it.

Rowan rushed after her, leaving Meghan behind. "Guys? Guys? Dudes? You've left your trunks behind." She sad sadly and grabbed Druna who was tweeting around her head, putting her in the cage which she shoved inside her trunk along with all her other discarded belongings.

She did the same with Livvy and Rowans belongings, managing to grab all three trunks and pull them through the door, wand tucked behind her ear.

"No way! Narnia!"

All three girls now stood outside. And it was snowing, a lot. There were trees all around the edges and one old-fashioned streetlamp in the middle of it all, shining brightly and somehow directing them towards _another door._

Livvy and Rowan grabbed their trunks from Meghan and all three girls rushed towards the door, skipping and singing random lyrics of 30h! 3. Behind the door was a classroom but not any old classroom-it was a Hogwarts classroom….But seriously, what more did you expect?

_____

"Colvin, Meghan."

"That's my name!" Meghan whispered loudly as her, Livvy and Rowan peered through the Great Hall door, of which contained every single Hogwarts Student and Teacher. They were standing in entrance.

"Yes, yes it is, deary." Rowan laughed and pushed the Black haired girl forward a bit, pushing her into the door.

"Owww!" She groaned from the floor and hit Rowans leg. She stumbled to her feet, took a deep breath and cautiously approached the crack in the door, pulling it even more open so she could slip in.

"Here, I'm here. Don't stress Minnie! She called out, walking quickly up the aisles of the tables to where Professor McGonagall stood with a scroll, a stool and the Sorting Hat.

"At least I missed the Sorting song." She said to all the heads turned to her. A couple of nervous chuckled aroused from the crowd.

She stepped up to the stool, held up the Sorting Hat and yanked it onto her head before McGonagall could utter a word from her pursed, tight lips.

_You contain a trace of Gryffindor courage and stubbornness. A trace of Ravenclaw intelligence but you would do good in Hufflepuff…_

"Slytherin, Slytherin, Slytherin.

_Ahhh! A fan of Slytherin, are we? You have many traits of this house and as your hearts, desire lies here…_ "SLYTHERIN!"

"Yes!" She called happily and set down the beloved hat, skipping to green-clad, Slytherin table, not forgetting to wink at an unsettled Draco, waiting in line with the other First Years.

Then, Rowan and Livvy craftily managed to sneak in and join the end of the line, unnoticed by everyone but Harry Potter who Rowan stood beside in the first year line and began poking and prodding, calling him strange names...

Hmm….

_____

"Madden Rowan."

"Woot!" The girl yelled and walked up, staring at Snape who was sitting at the Teacher's table. She tripped and ungraciously fell to the ground. Blushing furiously, she jammed the hat over her unruly, Edward Cullen hair and sitting on the stool.

_Incredible Ravenclaw intelligence but…"_SLYTHERIN!"

"Wow! Thanks Phyllis!" Rowan said to the hat on the stool and skipped off to join her friend, who was ogling at Draco who sat six seats away from her, at the table of her chosen house.

"Montgomery, Aaron." a boy who was standing beside Olivia, itching 'down there' snapped out of his own thoughts and trudged to the hat. As soon as he put it over his huge head, it called "Hufflepuff!"

A while later McGonagall was calling down the S's.

"Spring, Olivia."

"Fuck yeah!" the blondish girl ran to the stool shoved on the hat and sprawled down.

_Hmm…Ravenclaw?_

"Fuck no!"

_Hmm…Hufflepuff?_

"Fuck no!"

_Hmm…Gryffindor?_

"Fuck no!"

_I'm running out! Slytherin?!_

"Fuck yeah!"

_Humph,…fine… _"Slytherin!"

"FUCK YEAH!" Livvy yelled and ran to join her mates.

Just another little while later a name was called which caught the three main characters attentions.

"Thompson, Rebecca."

"What?!" Rowan, Olivia and Meghan said eyes wide. Rebecca was a muggle friend of theirs, along with Katie Watt who was her best friend. They were also big Harry Potter fans but not as big as Rowan and Meghan.

A second later Rebecca and Katie, themselves clad in Hogwarts robes, had slipped through the Great Hall doors and hurried to the now non-existent line, keeping their heads down. The blondish brunette, Rebecca made her way up to the hat and slipped it on, blushing slightly.

"RAVENCLAW!"

She slipped off the stool and nervously made her way to the Ravenclaw table.

"And finally Watt, Katie."

The dark brown haired girl bounced up to the stool, beaming and put it on. A few seconds later, it called…

"RAVENCLAW!"

She joined her best friend happily, not at all surprised.

Professor McGonagall gathered the things and made a swift exit, incredibly bewildered. Professor Dumbledore made his way up to the podium and started the feast.

The three girls at the Slytherin table chatted happily, stuffing their faces with the wondrous food, only stopped when it had vanished a while later.

"Dammit…"

With a twinkle in his eye, Dumby-as the three girls called him-stood at the impressive podium, gave his speech and sung the Hogwarts song. Apparently…

After _that_ was over the Grand Hall erupted, the big-nosed prefects trying to retain everyone.

Three girls skipped, arm in arm to the dungeons, happily singing.

"_So tell your boyfriend, that if he says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him…"_

_________________________________________________________

**YAY! Finally, I've finished! It's not as funny as I wanted it too be or it could be but please stick with it! It will be much better! I promise! As you've already read it, why not review ;) You know you want too! And about my other stories if anyone is wondering, they'll be uploaded soon! Its been kind of hectic XD Anyway! Bye! **


	3. Chapter 2 Fourth Year

**The Yule Ball**

**Part one**

The week before the Yule Ball was a flurry of activity. After the general act of the younger student asking out the out of their league, older students everyone got down to the real business.

At the end of Double potions for the Gryffindors and Slytherins on afternoon, three fourth year students hung back. Of course, it was our main characters, Rowan, Olivia and Meghan.

Livvy was slowly packing away her books and potion stuff as she chewed vigorously on out of date gum that Rowan supplied her with. She was all the while thinking mischievous plans in her head, involving doom pigeons and bacon.

Meghan was watching Draco Malfoy leave the classroom with his best friend Blaise Zabini, with her hand on her chest and a look of such passion on her face.

And Rowan, well Rowan, as usual, was watching Professor Snape, who was defiantly marking the essays that they had handed into him. He knew the girl was staring at him and it unnerved him, just like her obsession with him. He couldn't understand it!

"I'm going to do it!" Rowan announced proudly as she tore her eyes away from the potions master to look at the two girls behind her at the back of the room.

"Do what?" Livvy and Meghan asked together, both snapping out of their lustful and devious thoughts.

"You'll see." came the smug reply from the overgrown midget with the small feet, already ten feet away and fast approaching the greasy haired man-child at the front of them room.

"What is it, Madden? Shouldn't you be at your next class, tormenting some other poor soul?" Snape drawled, not looking up from the essay he was scrawling neatly on. He had such feminine handwriting.

"Its actually lunchtime, Sir and I wanted to talk to you about something very important. I was wondering, professor Sexy-I mean Sevvy-No-I mean Snape, Professor Snape. I was wondering if you, well…." She paused, nervously wringing her hands together.

The Potions master looked up, unsettled by the weirder-than-usual behaviour of the strange student. He nodded swiftly for her to carry on, his greasy hair momentarily bouncing. He ignored Olivia and Meghan's sniggers as they watched, incredibly bemused.

"Go on. Get on with it, Madden."

"Would-you-like-to-go-to-the-Yule-ball-with-me?!" Rowan blurted out like vomit. It might as well have been, judging by the expression on the mans pale and pointed face.

"W-w-hat?!" His voice was incredibly strangled and suddenly his face turned a strange colour. Then, even more suddenly, he slid down from his chair and fell to the ground, unconscious.

He'd fainted!

"Oh dear. I take that as a no then?" The short haired girl said worriedly, peering over the desk at the still potions master on the dungeon floor. "I-I-I'll just go and…umm…get…Madam Pomfrey…" She stuttered and turned around swiftly.

Olivia was literally rolling on the ground, laughing her head off and Meghan was standing in an odd position, wearing an expression of utter disgust and amusement. She was torn between laughing and projectile vomiting.

"You're sick." She announced to Rowan as she joined them.

"I know, deary, I know." Rowan replied calmly, shouldering her bag. "Oh! I have an idea!" She said randomly and rushed from the room, forgetting all about her true love that was lying on the floor.

"I think he's wet himself." Olivia said quietly, once she'd stopped laughing.

"Ewwww!"

Meghan and Olivia rushed after their crazier friend.

____

"Oi! Zabini!"

The dark-skinned boy turned and grinned good-naturedly at Rowan. "Yeah, Madden?"

"Go to the Yule ball with me?" She asked, breathlessly, having ran all the way from the Dungeons to the entrance of the Great hall. "You're on the rebound."

Beside him, Draco nudged his friend in the ribs, a superior smirk on her handsome, pale face. That was until Meghan, and only Meghan, joined Rowan, giving Malfoy a shy smile.

Ignoring his friend, Blaise shrugged and gave a short nod of his head. "Sure sounds cool. See ya then." he turned and started walking away, Draco after him.

Meghan took a deep breath and suddenly called- "Oi, Draco. Same question?" she squeaked, summoning all the non-existent Gryffindor courage in her.

The blonde, Slytherin prince turned, this time Blaise nudging him. Yes, boys are that immature.

"Um…am I on the rebound?" he asked, looking at the black-haired girl.

"Oh! You'd never be on the rebound, Draco!" she said breathlessly, grinning happily.

"Then…sure. Look forward to it." came the cool and casual reply. The two boys turned around again and rushed of into the Great Hall.

Rowan rolled her eyes at her friend and quickly raised a hand to cover Meghan's mouth as she let out a scream of excitement and began jumping up and down.

"Hold on, where's Livvy?" Rowan asked, spinning around. A piercing scream was once heard again and Meghan began chanting, "Draco Malfoy is going to the Yule Ball with me! Take that, Parkinson!" repeatedly.

It suddenly stopped, to the much relief of innocent bystanders. "Hold on, weren't you meant to go and get Madam Pomfrey for Unholy-Snivellus-with-fat-legs Snape?"

"Shit."

________

Meanwhile, after Meghan had rushed after Rowan, Olivia randomly walked off in the wrong direction, finding herself lost. As per usual.

She started to sing drunkenly as she spun along the corridor, head banging and thrashing around.

"_How can I decide what's right? When you're clouding up my mind Can't win your losing fight all the time Not gonna ever own what's mine When you're always taking sides You wont take away my pride No not this time Not this time How did we get here? I use to know you so well How did we get here? Well, I think I know The truth is hiding in your eyes And its hanging on your tongue Just boiling in my blood, But you think that I can't see What kind of man that you are If you're a man at all Well, I will figure this one out on my own How did we get here? I use to know you so well How did we get here? Well, I think I know Do you see what we've done? We're gonna make such fools of ourselves Do you see what we've done? We're gonna make such fools of ourselves How did we get here? I use to know you so well How did we get here? Well, I use to know you so well I think I know I think I know There is something that I see in you It might kill me I want it to be true."_

"Oh dear balls. Excuse me?" Came a bored voice from beside Livvy suddenly.

"Shit!" Livvy screamed and toddled over, landing in a mound on the ground. Hmmm… that rhymed…

"Sorry." Itchy Balls Aaron Montgomery mumbled incoherently, not sorry at all. He didn't laugh because he couldn't portray a single emotion.

"Yeah I'm sure you are, mister." Livvy shoved a finger in his face as she stood up and brushed herself down.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway seen as you're the first thing I've saw that is of a female gender, go to the Yule ball with me?" Itchy balls asked, his hand scarily disappearing down his trousers.

"Eh, what the smoke is a Yule ball?!"

"How am I supposed to know? You have to dress up and all that crap."

"Fine, I'll go with you."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Goodbye."

"Good riddance."

"_How can I decide what's right? When you're clouding up my mind Can't win your losing fight all the time …"_

____

"George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George." Katie Watt yelled incessantly into George Weasley's red ears.

"Ow! What the hell?!" He yelled back turning to the Perpetrator who was screaming into his ear.

""George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George, George."

"Yes, Yes! I'm listening for Merlins sake! But now I'm deaf for sure."

"Ooh! You're listening! Okay, so go to the Yule Ball with me?" Katie asked eagerly, turning to flash Rebecca a grin.

"Will you go away if I say yes?" He asked, rubbing his ear unhappily.

"Hell yeah! So you'll go with me?"

"Yeah whatever…" George sighed, smiling slightly at the girl who grinned, full to burst.

He turned back to Lee Jordan and Fred, who were laughing at him.

Katie and Rebecca promptly wandered off, talking animatedly about George and Seamus, their dates.

Somewhere, Dumbledore began to waltz.

____

**Part one of the Yule Ball Tis over! **

**There will be a whole lot more frolics in Part two which will be coming to a fan fiction site near you in approximately a year…Kidding!**

**Maybe…**

**Anywho! Sorry for jumping from First Year to Fourth, Second and Third year will be written soon! **

**Signed, Faithfully**

**Druna Malgood.**


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